Trauma
The thing about trauma is that stuff you thought you had dealt with, has a way of finding its way back to the surface.
The election results yesterday shattered something that had long been buried. I was back in that board room, getting screamed at by one of the marketing guys. The book cover I had designed had missed the mark. I was told later that he was having a bad day and I should cut him some slack. Because obviously, that is what mattered. Not the verbal abuse that I had just endured.
I left that meeting. Went back to my office, closed the door, and burst into tears. No one stopped him from unleashing his verbal assault. No one told him to leave the room and not come back until he cooled down. No one told him to apologize.
That day I learned, yet again, that women within our society (and especially the Adventist Church) were not valued. It was fine if we wanted to be secretaries or some other low level job. But we were supposed to stay small.
Yesterday I mourned the loss of an opportunity for our daughters, our nieces, and ourselves. I mourned for the America that was healing and turning away from hate. I mourned for my friends and family within the LGBTQ+ community that will find a more toxic America starting in January. I mourned for those opportunities that we lost.
We tell our children that they can be anything. That they should dream big, the sky is the limit. But every election, we remind our daughters that they can only dream so big. That they need to be aware that the men of this country are fragile and can’t handle successful women. We tell them to be small and toe the line. It makes the men of this country more comfortable.
Through my entire life, I have been shown through words and actions that women are not valued members of our society. And I have been told by those within Christianity that it is because Eve sinned first. It’s her fault. Eve was the one that strayed. Women are the ones that need to be punished. Forever. The thing about that mindset is that they paint Adam as being weak. My husband is not weak. He is my protector. And sometimes I am his. We are a team. That is how a healthy marriage is supposed to work.
Have you ever wondered why God didn’t make Adam and Eve at the same time? He did it with everything else. Why not with people? I think it is because God wanted Adam to realize the treasure that He was about to be given. He wanted Adam to protect and cherish his wife. Adam needed to see that he was lacking companionship. The other animals in Eden had it. But not him. God made Eve from one of Adam’s ribs. It wasn’t to allow Adam to rule over her. It was to show Adam that his wife was special. She was part of him and yet also her own person. Beautiful and lovely.
Michelangelo: The Creation of Man
Do you know what I love about this painting? Eve is tucked under God's arm. She was part of the plan all along. She was the pinnacle of creation. Through her, all life would come.
It gives me hope.
The God I know and love—still loves me. I am still valuable to Him. And always will be. No matter what our country says. We are valuable to Him. We always have been.
And one day, the people that claim to love us, will value us too. Until then, we will continue to be the mama bears that we have to be. We are not going back.
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