The Challenge

I tend to do my best writing early in the morning (or when I am supposed to be cleaning the kitchen). Truth be told, I would prefer to be sleeping, but I can't sleep. I know that I will be tired tomorrow and my daughter will be full of energy. But I've been wanting to write about this all week. So, I might as well get it done when I don't have any interruptions. Such as a toddler wanting to watch Daniel Tiger on my computer. . . . It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood . . .

I was talking with my mom on Sunday night and she said something that made me stop and think. Why do adults think that it is okay to express their emotions (anger, frustration, irritation, etc.) in front of their children? Most of us wouldn't consider that appropriate behavior to act in such a fashion in front of our husbands or wives—so why do we consider it to be okay for our children to experience it? 

I don't really know the real answer to that, but I suppose it is because we assume that they don't understand it. After all, it is just us releasing built up steam. A survival mechanism, right? Most of us know that isn't true—our children understand way more about feelings and other emotions than we give them credit for. But taming the tongue is difficult and more so when out of practice. We will usually use anything as an excuse for our bad behavior—but then frown upon such an act when our children try it out. Where did they learn that from?

From us, of course. That is a tough pill to swallow. My daughter is 2.5 years old and I can already tell when she tries out one of mommy's not so amazing moments and throws a fit over something trivial. Oh no. And so I was pondering about that in my prayer journal on Monday morning. Which is when I decided that things in my life needed to change. I needed to be more observant to the emotional needs of my daughter. As well as keeping mine in check. We are in the clingy mommy must be within two steps from me at all times stage again and it is incredibly easy to just tune out her insistent wants. It is also easy to allow the exhaustion of being needed 24/7 to rule my emotions. And that is never a good combination. On tough days, I still fail to notice the small things—like the reason my daughter doesn't need to use the potty before we leave for town is because she just did 2 minutes ago. Just because she didn't insist I come and read "Cricket's Big Wait" to her for the 15th billionth time, doesn't mean that she didn't use the potty. But now there is a power struggle going on with me insisting that she use the potty and her declaring that she doesn't need to. Time is wasted, tempers flare, we are both in tears and nothing is accomplished. Mommy, listen.

And that's when I realized that this was not something I was going to be able to change by myself. This is an area that I am not the best at. Keeping my feelings in check and under control does not come easily. I tend to feel everything. I can't keep them stored up inside or I explode. But keeping a prayer journal is wonderful. Because I am able to pour my heart and emotions into the pages. Knowing that God understands all of my frustrations and is willing to help—if I would just stop and ask Him to.

But understanding that for myself led to another thought. What I am learning now applies to how we as a nation are treating the President of the United States. Personally, I do not care for Donald Trump. I do not care for his character or how he treats people. I'm not even sure he knows how to be a public servant. But I still pray for him. Because he needs our prayers. He is the President of our country and that in itself is a huge responsibility. Especially when you are in over your head. And he is. I know what some of you might be thinking, how can you possibly pray for such a man? It is not something that I want to do. It is something that I need to do. Because I can't hold onto that kind of anger. Jesus told us to pray for those who persecute us. "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, . . ." Matthew 5:43-44.

That is a pretty tough command. But I believe that our happiness depends on praying for those who mistreat us. It is time for us to acknowledge that our country has an anger problem. That we have an anger problem. And that our anger is fueled by hate.

And it isn't just the President we hate. We hate those who belong to different political parties. We hate people from different countries. We hate people of color. We hate white people. We hate people who belong to the LGBT communities. We scorn those who don't accept LGBT people. We hate people who are Pro Life. We hate people who are Pro Choice. We hate gun owners and the NRA—And we spew that hatred on the internet and in front of our children. And then we wonder why our kids act the way they do. They act that way because we taught them to hate through our words and actions.

And that should chill you to the bone.

That is why I pray for President Donald Trump. Because I know what that kind of hatred will do. It will destroy you. Just as it will ultimately destroy him if he continues in the path he is in. But God is in the business of changing people. And He has his own way for getting their attention. And if I can set my ego aside long enough to pray for a man like Donald Trump, then I can pray for other people who fall into the category of awful sinners. Including those I don't agree with.

So my advice? Take your anger to the Lord. And when you have drained yourself of your initial anger and desire to seek revenge, look back at that tweet or article that was so important moments before and decide for yourself if it is worth wallowing in the pig sty of verbal filth. Our words hold just as much power as our actions. Our children learn to bully by watching their parents.

Last night my nephew, James, read a poem he wrote. He asked a very important question. It was something his mom had taught him. And I think it is very appropriate. Everyday we have the choice to be either a buoy or a bully. Which do you want to be?

Personally, I want to be a buoy. One that is secured by strong anchors. A buoy that isn't properly anchored is just a boat, tossed by the waves and wind. Lost at sea—full of negativity and discouragement. But a buoy that is properly anchored has the strength given to it from the anchors. And is able to help people as they navigate through the choppy waters of life.

Comments

  1. So true Emily! As we are getting ready for our little one, it is hard to realize that our character traits and flaws that we show him will be readily apparent in him, and that he will emulate what he sees in us. I also appreciate your comments on praying for those that we don’t agree with. Often when I read the news I just boil inside with pent up anger at what others are saying and doing to each other, but I need to take those people to God.

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