Wednesday, November 2, 2016


I feel like my emotions are trapped. I am a mother, why can't I openly grieve for the loss? I stood there and watched another mother accept the hugs and words of condolence from members of our community for over 2 hours. Those around me were crying, but not me. I felt heartless, but my heart ached. I wanted to rush forward and wrap the mother in my arms. But I couldn't. My daughter needed me. She needed my full attention. I signed the guest book and went back to the mother's room. Maybe after the service I could hug the mother. Maybe after the service I could mourn with her. 

Three hours later, my daughter and I left. The service wasn't over, but my daughter was tired and hungry. Maybe at home, I thought, maybe there I will be able to cry

The tears still haven't flowed. Maybe tomorrow I will cry. Maybe tomorrow the emotion that I feel trapped inside me will be released. Maybe then the healing can begin. 

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